


Past is past

by imgoingblonde



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-18 02:47:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21920545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imgoingblonde/pseuds/imgoingblonde
Summary: You and Yuta had an unforgettable history when you were both young. Life has its ways to bring you back together, but you’re not on the same page again for the second time.
Relationships: Nakamoto Yuta/Reader
Kudos: 5





	Past is past

**Author's Note:**

> This happened after Neo City Osaka Day 1 hehe. Yuta was extremely handsome during tour so I had to....

Neo City Osaka day 1 was a complete success and Yuta felt nothing but happiness. He was looking forward to a lot of things this time when he goes back to Japan for the tour. He wanted to see his family and spend time with them, eat a lot of Japanese food with the members, go shopping in his favourite mall, and most importantly he was looking forward to seeing you.

After the concert, Yuta’s family was waiting for him backstage and he was really happy. Backstage was full of busy staff members, cameras everywhere to take memories for the behind the scenes, VIP congratulating them. Yuta’s mom approached him and told him that she’s proud of him and happily meeting the members and their managers. “Thanks mom. I’m happy you enjoyed the show. Oh by the way-“ Yuta’s mom cut him off and secretly handed him a small piece of paper. “That’s where she lives now. Be sure to spend some quality time when you see her.” She sighed and gave Yuta a look, “You know son, I was actually rooting for the two of you.” Yuta nodded and gave his mother a hopeful smile, “Don’t worry mom. We will talk and sort things out.”

It was almost midnight when Yuta got out of the hotel and drove carefully to the address that was written on the small piece of paper. The townhouse was an all white building with a unique construction that amazed Yuta because the building that you’re staying was beautiful. He thought the place suited you well because ever since you were young you love unique places like this.

Yuta gathered all his strength and courage before knocking on your door. Thinking maybe you wouldn’t recognise him for it has been such a long time when the two of you last saw each other. He sighed and closed his eyes and knocked three times.

Silence. For almost five minutes.

He thought you weren’t home and had accepted it and decided to just come back tomorrow. When he was about to leave, he heard the beep from the door and his heart was beating so fast because of excitement. Standing in front of him, wearing a black long sleeves turtle neck, your favourite denim high waisted jeans and your home slippers.

You gave him a straight look but he gave you a sweet smile, showing how happy he is that you’re home and you opened the door for him.

“Hi.” Yuta started.

“Yuta...”

All his worries about you, not recognising him were all gone “It’s good that you remember me” he smiled again. 

“Of course… uh… come in” you opened the door widely and welcomed him in your apartment. The place was a little dark, nothing but the light by the door was open and three of your cinnamon scented candles lit up the room. It was cozy and peaceful, Yuta thought.

When the two of you settled by the living room, no one was talking. The both of you were shy to even start a conversation but Yuta, has many things to say to you. He drank the water that you gave him straight breathing heavily and faced you, “I missed you” he said. And by that moment you didn’t know what to say because to be honest you’ve moved on.

To avoid what he just said, you think of something to ask. Like why is he in Japan, even though you know why because it’s all over the news. 

“Why are you here in Japan?”

“Uh… Neo City Japan tour” he clears his throat and came closer to you. “Please, I want to apologise” he added. He kneeled in front of you leaving you speechless and grabbed your hands and kissed them both. “Im here. Will you please start again with me please. It has always been you. You remained being my inspiration, one of the reasons why I look forward on being here in Japan. I know what I did in the past wrong but please, let me make it up to you. I’m here, baby. Im here.”

Baby? You scoffed and gave him a mocking smile and you remembered the day he left and the day when he said he got accepted as a trainee to a big company in Korea. You suddenly remember how lost you were when you two broke up. And as much as you can’t believe what’s happening right now, that Nakamoto Yuta is in front of you kneeling, you can’t help but be happy too. You’ve moved on, yes but you’re lying to yourself if you say you didn’t miss him. You rubbed his hand back and wiped his tears from his tired eyes, pulling him close to you for that much awaited hug.

“Baby I’m sorry, please forgive me. Let’s start again. Me and you please it’s still you. It has always been you.” Hearing him say those words made your heart melt. Yes, you were mad because he left you, but you already forgive him a long time ago.

He kissed your face multiple times, wet from feeling his tears and it made you giggle like you were a high school girl. The way kiss, his way of words and his smile didn’t changed a bit. He can still make your heart jump and excited, your cheeks hot, and it surprises you he can still turn you on. He was staring at your eyes deeply, as if he wanted to kiss you. And to your surprise, he did. He kissed you deeply. Kissing Yuta felt like a warm afternoon in your room back home, year 2012. Senior days.

You and Yuta decided to go straight to your house after school to have sex. This has been your fourth? Or sixth? time having sex with Yuta and quite frankly you love and enjoy it. It was warm in your room and both of you were struggling to get out of your uniforms without breaking the kiss. Yuta, the impatient man that he is, pushed you on the bed and ripped the buttons of your uniform and kneading your left breast immediately teasing your nipples to gain your sweet moans. “I’m sorry baby, I promise I’ll sew this later tonight” Yuta apologised in between kisses. 

After removing your skirt, he pulled away from the kiss and undressed himself making you thank the gods to whoever took time on sculpting his beautiful athletic body. You hummed when he hovers on top of you feeling his sticky skin because of the warm afternoon. Kissing his golden skin because of the sunlight and enjoying the sweet nothings he whispers to you. “how can you still smell this good after a long day in school?” “you’re skin is incredibly soft baby, you know that?” “gosh! I’m so addicted to you.”

He was surprisingly soft this time, so you looked at him and asked if theres something wrong. He gave you a taste of that healing smile, so sweet your heart melts. Not breaking the kiss, he told you not to worry but you still can’t help but overthink. “nothings wrong. I just want to take my time with you” it made you chuckle and kiss him deeply giving him tongue and he moaned the sweetest moan in the world. “Im not going anywhere Yuta” he hummed while kissing your neck careful not leave marks. “Yeah, I know but I am” and you can feel his proud smile while he was kissing you.

Maybe he got accepted to is dream college from playing soccer. And that made you happy and proud of him. You spread your legs wide and rolled your hips just enough to tease his hard member, hoping Yuta gets the message. “Aaaw. But I still want to enjoy you” He whines, and you thought it was cute but knowing Yuta, he can’t stand you. “Come on baby, lets do five rounds today” you whispered behind his ear, and you immediately felt two fingers enter you. You let out a loud moan, and Yuta covered your mouth using his free hand. “Baby, I love your moans. But you have to keep it low” and he made you suck his thumb while he’s stretching your opening.

Yuta’s fingers are skilled and they feel so good inside you, that’s why he can always put you on edge every time he stretches you out. You closed your eyes and concentrate on what he’s doing to you and before you hit your climax, you felt the tip of his member slowly entering you. And when you open your eyes, you see your beautiful boyfriend staring right into your eyes. You gave him open mouth kisses and arched your body trying to grab whatever you can on bed. You can hear Yuta’s small laugh and proud smile because of the effect he has on you. “Baby, you so look so hot. Smile for me while we fuck?” He asked you sweetly, thrusting slow and deep into you. “Gladly” you answered catching your breath.

He’s pounding you slowly, hitting you deep on the right spots. Whispering filthy but sweet things behind your ear. Every thrust makes your eyes roll back and your mouth open. “You feel so good, baby. We should do this more often.” He winked while he keep on thrusting inside you, moaning in every thrust he gives. Slow sex was never Yuta’s thing but if he wants it then who are you to complain, you thought. It made you smile how he’s using you to go off, how he’s loving every inch of your body, how he makes you feel like you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. “Don’t come yet. I want to feel you more” he whispered in between thrust, you tried to nod while he changes position.

You remember. You still remember the last time Yuta was in your room, having sex with you. Actually, he made love to you. Little did you know, that was the last time.

While Yuta was kissing you deeply, you pushed him slowly your hands on his chest and asked him “How are we going to do this?” you looked down on your slippers and wait for his answer, “come to Korea with me after our Japan tour.” He offered without hesitation, looks like he planned it all these years you thought. But you can’t do that. Life with Yuta sounds beautiful but it’s just too late for that. 

“Yuta I have a career, and so do you. You sound like you already planned everything else. Okay. I’ll give you that. But how about me? My job. My art. Japan…” you let out a heavy sigh. Already thinking that letting him in your life again, is completely wrong.

You heard his phone ring. “Thats my signal to leave and go back to the hotel. Please… Just please think about it. About us. I’m staying here in Japan for a couple of days. I’ll visit you every night.” You nod without looking at him. You hugged him tight thinking, as you remember the time when he left you. He felt that. 

“I’m not going to make the same mistakes again. Let’s fix this” he left after giving you that promise, a promise which you thought he will never break now that he’s really successful and nothing can stop him. 

After having sex for the whole afternoon, you cuddle with Yuta admiring his flawless skin beside you. “Baby?” You asked him and he hums while playing with your fingers. “You didn’t say where you were going.” He smiled immediately and stopped playing with your fingers, giving you a signal to wait while he puts his pants on. 

“So. Remember when I told you I wanted to be a singer.” You nod.   
“I got accepted as a trainee in SM entertainment in South Korea. I will start training after our graduation and I will become an artist!” He explained happily, you on the other hand was really shocked and you can’t believe what you just heard. 

“What about soccer?” You asked with a low voice. 

“Well, my life career is my responsibility baby. I know you get me” He finally started to feel your worry and came back to bed sitting beside you.

“What about me? Baby, we both know being an idol is no joke. You can’t date. That’s like one of their golden rule there.” Yuta just looked down and crossed his arms.

You got up from your bed completely naked and went inside the bathroom closing the door hoping to get some air but instead it made your head dizzy, the silence was completely choking you. You opened the shower so he wouldn’t hear your sobs. You were mad knowing that he will eventually break up with you sooner or later. You were so mad you punched the bathroom mirror, throwing the shampoo bottles and throwing every perfume you had. 

Yuta came in with a panic after hearing all the throwing, “Y/N! DONT MOVE YOU MIGHT STEP ON GLASS” you were busy crying on the bathroom floor the water from the shower was so cold it made you shiver. Yuta came back with your towel and he was wearing your slipper this time. He turned off the shower and carried you out. 

You never wanted to look at him. You never wanted to see those beautiful eyes for you were positive it will make you forgive him. Theres still a part of you that still wanted to push through with this relationship so you made him choose. 

“Please don’t touch me.” You said with a straight face and he stepped back but made sure you were covered well.

“You can only take care of me…. Or touch me now if you promise you will never leave. But if you choose to leave… please leave now.” You hear Yuta call you and sob, but you never want to look at him anymore.

“Baby please, don’t make me choose. I love you.” you hear him cry, and still don’t care because you were hurt too.

Waiting for his answer impatiently, you repeat what you just said “You can only take care of me Or touch me now if you promise you will never leave. But if you chose to leave, please leave now.” But this time its harsher and with anger.

There was a long silence after that, as in you were the only one in the room. It bothered you how quiet he can be so you decided to look at him. But the moment you lift your head, Yuta is nowhere to be found. Your world crashes down when you realised him left you quietly, while you were hurting. 

And that was the end of your relationship with Yuta.

The next day, you heard through the news that NCT 127 will have their second concert in Osaka tonight. You turned the TV off not wanting to remember what happened last night. How dare him to make you choose this time.

Work was tough today, but you love what you do. The office, the people around you, not to mention its good pay. That’s why you can’t just leave everything behind for Yuta. My life career is my responsibility. You remember Yuta’s words. So this it what you felt when I made you choose, huh.

The moment you got home, you were bracing yourself to the possible visit from Yuta again. Making yourself nervous for nothing, you cleaned a little and even made dinner for two. When you finally gave up from waiting, you figure maybe he was tired from performing or maybe he forgot to visit. You continue working at home with a couple of beers, listening to Cigarettes After Sex, answering emails when you heard your doorbell. Yuta.

You opened the door and he welcomed you with a big hug. You didn’t have a choice but to hug him back. “I thought you weren’t coming.” Yuta was removing his coat and gave you a smile, “sorry, day two was even crazier.” 

He followed you to the dinning room where you were doing your work.   
“Ahhh you’re working?” He asked, you nod. You didn’t want to make him feel like he’s disturbing you even though he really is, so you offered him beer, asked if he already ate dinner and told him to get comfortable because maybe his tired. 

Wanting to spend time with you, and grabbing the opportunity to eat dinner with you, he accepted your offer and you ate dinner together. For him, the food was even more delicious because he was eating with you. Finally. 

“What happened to you? After we broke up” Yuta asked, breaking the silence.

“Brave of you to ask” he seem down. You really didn’t mean to be rude or anything. 

“But to answer your question Yuta, I lived with dad in Hawaii. Finished college there.” Yuta took a sip from his beer. 

“Yeah but you didn’t attend graduation.” he remembered.

“Too broken hearted at that time. Didn’t really want to see you on your last day in Japan. So I made my mom to cover up for me and explained everything to her. The teachers said it was just graduation. I’m done with every requirement so they let me go.” You explained while waiting for his reaction. 

“I’m sorry” you’re starting to get annoyed from his apologies. “I really didn’t want to leave but-“ you scoffed and cut him off.

“I don’t want to hear it Yuta. I forgive you” He came closer to you and kissed you softly. Making you remember your first kiss, your first love, your first everything.

When you felt that the kiss was getting deeper, you pushed him gently, making him stop. “You can’t keep doing this Yuta” you whispered while caressing his cheek. Savouring this sincere moment that you thought it’s only possible in your dreams. You missed him.

“Why not? I love you. And I wan to win you back. Can’t you understand that?” 

“Baby, you can’t just barge into my life after all these years”

“I just did” 

Yuta kissed you again hungrily this time, carrying you to the couch not breaking the kiss. “Uh uh. Bed. That way” he smiled and kissed you again. This is wrong, you thought. But face it. You miss him. The feelings are not the same anymore but he’s winning you all over again like how he won you a long time ago. 

“I love you baby. Please forgive me” Yuta said while laying you in bed still kissing you. His apologies were sincere and you can feel it. Urging him to remove his shirt because to be honest you were so turned on right now, but it looks like he’s willing to take his time. Again.

“Stop apologising and make love to me. We dont have all the time tonight.” You said while removing your own shirt and goes back to kissing him. You really didn’t want this to happen because you didn’t want to give him false hope. But seeing that he’s really eager to start again with you makes you think about the what ifs. What if, this time it will finally work between the two of you? Life did brought him back to you. And you cant help but think if this is destiny. 

You now realised you’re both naked again in bed, wanting each other after years and years. It’s still Yuta.

“I will never hurt you again. Baby, this time I will not decide without you. Please come back to me” without foreplay tonight, Yuta went straight to making love with you, entering you slowly just like the last time. The stretch was painfully good because it was Yuta and no one can make you feel good like that except him.

In between every slowly and painful thrust is a promise. Promises you know he will keep now. “I promise to love you more baby. Even if you’re having second thoughts now” he breathes heavily behind your ear. You spread your legs even wider because his voice is enough to turn you on and to make you soaking wet.

He lifts your left leg and gave you a slow but hard thrust, “i will never hurt you again. Please come back” your moan not stopping yourself to be vocal and to breath heavily while he fucks you slowly.

“I will make you happy every day. Every night. Make you feel good like how you feel right now” you turn your head back, you’re on the edge of cumming because his voice alone can make you wild. 

You both reached your climax but he was still thrusting softly in you. He kissed your cheeks, your forehead, your nose. “I promise to marry you” and those words were enough to break your walls. You didn’t expect him to remember your ultimate goal while you were together in your past.

“I never laid eyes on anyone. After all these years. You’re still the woman I want to marry” he kissed you again.

You cant believe what you just heard. You wanted to cry so bad. But you didn’t want to ruin the mood. You didn’t have the choice but to fake your bravery. Trying to avoid what he just said, you changed positions, bit his lower lip, and grind on top of him. “Next round, will you fuck me harder?” and he did.

After many rounds of fucking and while laying in bed naked, Yuta was admiring your soft skin and thinking how he misses you. Remembering how he jerks off thinking of you before going to bed after a long day, but now you’re laying beside him.

He was willing to be closer to you this time and he really wanted to start over with you. Not wanting to let go of you again, he offered you another plan, asking you to leave with him the next day after tomorrow. “Have a life with me in Korea. Im sure your career can adjust in a different country. You’re really good at your job and any company will be a fool if they don’t hire you. If you get comfortable enough in Korea, we will get married privately and we will live together.”

Everything he offers you are the things you want in life but theres this heavy feeling and worry in you that you can’t let go off. You want to say that you want to start over again with him and have a happy life but it will kill you to give him false hope that can break him. 

“I’ll think about it. I’ll let you know as soon as I made my mind” Yuta sighed and embraced you tighter. You felt his warmth, thinking that it would actually be nice to feel this everyday.

“How about this” he started again. “I’ll have my manager to give everything you need to fly to Korea-“

“Yuta-“ you tried to stop him from his plan. But he kissed you just enough to shut you up again and he continued talking “let me finish first” leaving a soft kiss on your lips. 

“I’ll wait for you at the airport and if you come, then I’ll be the happiest man alive in the universe and you will not regret your decision... But if you don’t show up...” he stopped for a second to look in your eyes. “I’ll respect your decision. No hard feelings. But don’t expect me to stop loving you. That will never happen.”

With a heavy heart, Yuta went back to the hotel by morning, his managers and the members were worried sick but he didn’t care because he’s one step closer on getting you back. The moment he’s with the members for their morning rehearsal for their last concert day, Yuta got a handful of scolding from his manager because he didn’t go back last night. “Im so sorry hyung, but she is family” Is all Yuta can say as his defense.

Their last concert was a success and Yuta cant calm himself even if they were just relaxing at the hotel.

“Hyung, you should relax. Everything was given to her earlier by manager hyung. I personally think she will come home with us” Mark said, trying to comfort Yuta. The members weren’t at ease too because of Yuta, they are all looking forward in your decision too. 

You on the other hand, packed your stuff well, tried to convince yourself and your feelings for Yuta but for some reason you cant leave your apartment. You’ve been thinking about how you worked hard getting your job here in Japan, how leaving your family for Yuta sounds so heavy, and adapting a life in a foreign country is too much. Everything was going so fast and being handed to you by Yuta but what about the life that you built on your own without him. 

You decided not to go. 

Disappointed and hurt but Yuta understands what you were saying. You told him that you loved and still love him but you cant be with him after all these years, thanking him for the wonderful time he graced you during his stay here in Japan. “I love you and I want to live with you too, but not like this... believe me I’m hurt right now, I never wanted this to happen but please give me some time. Oh, Yuta. I’m sorry.” If the both you are truly meant to be, the world will let you meet each other again. Through the phone you can feel his pain, his want to be with you now and not leave with members, wanting to fulfil his promise that he will never leave you again but he felt so powerless. He was heart broken. 

“Don’t be sad please, live happily without me for a while. Just for a while, baby please don’t cry. Why do I always make you cry - I never want to hear you cry again, do you understand?”you hear him cheer you up even though he’s crying and sobbing too. “I’ll find you again, and this is not the end. Please don’t cry. I love you... I - We, have to leave now. Good bye for now.”


End file.
